I’m one of those people who want to do everything, right here, right now. It’s really hard for me to keep things simple. I want to do all of these things that use my creativity, start them all at once, and then the inevitable happens.
Creativity is something to be nurtured, never pushed and shoved. It retreats easily and is slow to return. Burn out, they call it, when the creative flame dies to a mere flicker.
I was burnt out, worn thin.
Sometimes life gets so full that you have to take a step back to see the whole picture or else lose yourself in the busyness and chaos. I had to take a few steps back in the hopes of getting my bearings and catching my breath. Life was too full and we were all suffering from the stress of it.
There is a toddler running around, getting into everything, clingy to my legs, and pushing keys on my laptop. An older child to taxi to and fro, play games with, and keep out of trouble.
There is a successful, growing business to run and new ventures to develop.
There is a farm to run. Animals to feed and water and clean and tend. Weeds to be pull, seeds to plant.
There is a home to clean and meals to cook and shopping and appointments and other errands.
There is sleep, all 6 hours worth.
Day in. Day out.
It wears me thin sometimes and I realize I have to let go of something or even several somethings. This letting go is not forever, no, just for a time while I tend to other things and fulfill other dreams.
So I let go.
New business opportunities could wait. The number of animals could be scaled back. The garden could be ignored for the fall and winter. The house did not need to be cleaned today or even tomorrow. We could totally have waffles or grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner.
Thankfully creativity is like a phoenix that rises out of the ashes of its previous existence to live again. After resting and taking care of myself and my life, I find that my desire to write again has returned.
I am, now, taking a hesitant step forward like a deer coming out of the forest. Do I dare add something back into my life? Will it make things too much again?
I don’t know.
But I’m going to try.
Over the winter I thought and felt about tentatively. What was it that I really wanted in the new year? Certainly not more of the same from the year past. What did I hope for in the upcoming year? What would I do purely for the enjoyment? What did I want to make time for? What did I want to learn?
My word for the year is “simple”. It’s truly a struggle to keep things simple. The desire to complicate things, jump all in to new projects, and finding new things to stack on my plate is ever present. It bunches up inside trying to spring free of the restraints I’ve put on it like a nervous horse ready to bolt at the first excuse to spook.
Just keep it simple.
In no particular order, my plans for this year focus on:
Do More of What I Love
I knit, crochet, spin, dye, and sew. In the previous year I spent very, very little time pursuing any of my crafts. So far this year I’ve finished knitting a sweater for Little Mr. (aka busy toddler) and an apron for myself. Next up is a Star Wars pillowcase (done!) for Little Miss and later a quilt (hopefully NOT Star Wars).
Reading, cooking/baking, hiking, horseback riding, and tending to my plants and animals are also all things I love doing that I’m working on spending more time actually DOING this year. Of course, the animals are always pretty well tended to, but you get the picture.
Learn New Skills
The two skills that I really want to develop are cake decorating and woodworking. The first is going both smoothly and deliciously. The second is still a work in progress because I’m waiting on the Mr. to lend his expertise and he’s waiting on the weather to dry out. He’s closely related to the Wicked Witch of the West and will completely melt if he gets wet.
My first woodworking project will be a goat stanchion (finished!) and the next will be a coop and run for Little Miss to keep her chickens down closer to the house.
I’m still working on this one. To start with I’m making time to take regular showers. It’s kind of funny looking back to when Little Miss was really little and I couldn’t comprehend how anyone would have a problem taking showers with a baby or toddler in the house. Clearly karma is real ’cause those thoughts are totally biting me in the butt…
Making sure I get more sleep is something I’m working on too. I am, absolutely, a night owl. But I have to get up early. It can be hard to make myself settle in and go to sleep hours before I’m ready to, but I do need to be rested to get through my life-is-chaos day.
Planting more flowers is also important to me this year. I want more color, light, and beauty in my life. Not to mention the sweet fragrance of fresh bouquets filling the house.
This is also a struggle to stay simple with. I want to buy ALL the flower seeds! Sell bouquets! Drip irrigation! Soil amendments! Green house! Till up the bottom pasture and put it in production! Till up the front yard too!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a garden to prep for flowers while the sun is shining.